Sunday, February 10, 2008

On Reflections and Good-byes

“Do we have a plan?” I turn my body around from my comfortable right-side fetus position and roll to face my husbands inquiring eyes.

Sleepily, I ask him, “What do you mean, ‘a plan’?”

“A PLAN,” he stresses. “You know, like, for our future. We spend all this time ‘dreaming’ about what we want and what we’ll have, but what do we actually do that will lead us to having it?”

He did have a point. I have spent so much time writing of my dreams and desires on this blog, but have yet to put into place any sort of plan of action to help make them a reality. In my half-awake fog, I asked him if we could talk about it in the morning. He looked concerned, his eyebrows lying arch-less, straight across his forehead showing an emotion that was not quite describable at that moment. He swung to lay on his back and stared at the ceiling. I closed my eyes and fell asleep within seconds, not giving much more thought to his query.

On Sunday mornings, I enjoy watching Joel Osteen, a “smiling” pastor who some find more inspirational than gospel-driven, but someone who makes me feel good about the future nonetheless. In my area, he is on several different television stations consecutively from 7:30 a.m. until 9 a.m., of which I usually catch the 8:30 showing on USA network. I turned the T.V. on in my usual fashion, stirring my husband enough to make him sleepily give me the remote, and lowering the volume so he can quickly go back to sleep.

This morning, however, he did not go back to sleep. As a matter of fact, he sprung up in bed and said, “Make it louder!” After Joel’s usual introduction that included a mild joke, he immediately went into his sermon…which just happened to be all about “having a plan for your future.” He described such things as identifying what are merely fantasies and what are actual God-given dreams; he urged his listeners to write down their plan of action for one year, five years, ten years, even twenty; and he gave examples of how sometimes sacrifices have to be made in order to make the changes necessary to move on in life and to achieve your goals. This is the point in the message where his words started to hit home for me.

What some of you might not be aware of is that I was given a gift from God. Well, over the years, I have been given many gifts from God—my children, my husband, my friends. But what I’m talking about is the gift he gave me that was ingrained in me from the moment of my conception. I was blessed with the ability to draw and create, the gift of artistic ability and imagination. I would be remiss if I did not mention how I’ve spent years pushing this gift aside—it would even become a burden sometimes—and how I took for granted the complements and praise that I would receive for my creations.

About two years ago, I found a folder full of drawings and paint designs from a brief stint I held at a local college twenty years prior, majoring in art. I pulled out sheets of paper with characters that I had created, some that almost frightened me at their irony (the tiny island with one lone palm tree in the middle of the ocean with several cartoon sea creatures conversing around it; and the various vegetables with faces, arms, legs, and even names that I had created around the same time. For those of you who are lost right now, I’m speculating that I could have had a hand in creating “Spongebob Squarepants” and “Veggie Tales” had I believed in my own artistic ability when I was younger). I began to realize that by ignoring my gift, I was quite possibly throwing away the opportunity to have a very successful future.

And so, at this time, I have decided to make the very large sacrifice of discontinuing my blog until further notice. This decision makes me extremely sad, as I feel that it has been an outlet and a source of inspiration to me for the last year and a half. Reading all of your blogs and “blogging” with my “blogging buddies” has been a gift and something I looked forward to on an almost daily basis. I have learned so many different things from all of you, each one heartfelt and cherished. Although we’ve never met, I feel as if we’ve been friends for years. And it saddens me more than you know to have to give up this wonderful community of gifted writers and dear human beings for now.

I have decided to make the attempt to push myself a little farther, to force myself to grow. I can not sit back anymore and believe for a day when my dreams come true; I have to be pro-active and make them happen myself. I will consciously take the time I’ve spent on my computer, and turn it into something that I hope will become very productive for my family, and most of all, for myself. I know I have success up my sleeve. It’s time for me to pull it out.

So farewell—for now—my dear friends. I have come to adore each and every one of you, and I will be sure to check in with all of you every now and then. You have all inspired me, and I am lucky to know such wonderful people. God bless you.

(Please feel free to drop me a line now and then at againali@gmail.com. I would love to hear from you!)

28 comments:

Guilty Secret said...

Best of luck to you. Do get in touch if you decide to start writing again.

Carine said...

Lisa,
You will be missed, but I do understand. best of luck and do drop in on our blogs now and then and let us hear from you as well.

annie said...

I'll miss you.

Shimmerrings said...

I'll miss you, too, Lisa. In fact, before you leave, entirely, go and read what I wrote about you, on my posting entitled Peace, Love Beads, and Orchids. It's down at the very bottom, if you don't want to read the whole thing. I've been wondering, too, if my blogging is keeping me from reality, but, in the end, I know that is has been there, serving a good purpose, during my incubation periods. I wish you the best, but don't forget we are out there, if you ever need an ear! Love ya, girl!

Big Dave T said...

There have been times when I've thought about ending my blog, but my family, especially my mom and dad, keep track of us via my blog and enjoy reading it, comments and all.

I'm hopefully going to know more about my plan after Wednesday, when I meet with a retirment counselor. I'll let you know how it goes.

Oh . . .

Lady Di Tn said...

Since I just started reading your blog I am sadden to see you close up the book. But I truly understand. Life got in the way of my art and wishes and a few years back I enrolled in a Art Class that was taught by a very talent local artist, Hazel Crye King, (her easter eggs have made it to the white house). It was my first time to paint in acrylic and I fell in love with the medium. I started doing Geisha Girl jus t to see if I could paint them and again fell in love. I have painted a series called The Calendar Girls and will finally have a one woman show this coming Jan 09. It took 3 years to paint them and 2 years to get a show. I WISH YOU THE VERY BEST AND THAT IT DOES NOT TAKE YOU AS LONG TO ACHIEVE YOUR DREAMS.
PEACE BE WITH YOU
Please visit Kitty Justice when you can.

Summer said...

Lisa, i am sad to see you go! i will miss reading your inspiring, funny, sad and everything posts! but know always that you are in my heart, and i wish you the best and greatest successes and luck of all. you have talent, i know you will put it to a good use. best of luck dear friend!

simply me said...

Li - I am glad that you are finding direction and seeking a place for your gift. I think it is much better to fail trying than not trying at all. I have seen your work and there is much promise there.....go on your way with peace, love, hope and belief.

Mark said...

Have fun and make your dreams your reality. Your voice will be missed!

Mark said...

Have fun and make your dreams your reality. Your voice will be missed!

Matty said...

You go for it....girl! It's one thing having dreams....but you must take action. Do it! Of course we'll miss you...and I do hope from time to time you'll let us know of your progress.
I know exactly what you mean.....this blog has saved my life...I have thought of giving it up so often..but right now I need this. One day...when I don't have to be so attentive to my Mr. T....when he has his bone marrow transplant....I have a few dreams of my own I want to chase..and I will spend a lot less time on my blog.
For now....this is what I need..
Thank you for being a thoughtful, kind, caring human being.
I wish you much success and happiness......and yes....make a plan!...so one day you can retire with your loving hubby.
Till we meet again.....never stop dreaming.

Kacey said...

Oh, how we will miss you, Lisa! But, I know that we spend far too much time on the computer reading and writing. By all means, go for it! Have you ever thought (with your SpongeBog SquarePants and Veggie Tale characters) of becoming a childrens' books illustrator? I definitely have to send you an e-mail with some very interesting things that have been said about you! Love ya', Kathy

Betty said...

Dear Lisa,

Well, I'm both sad and glad. My small group of blogging buddies has dwindled to just Kacey and me.

But of course I want the best for you. Sometimes following your heart doesn't leave any time for blogging! And maybe you'll be back someday, when the time is right. I'll truly miss you, your kind words and your invaluable insights. You've been a wonderful friend.

Many hugs and best wishes,
Betty

Ray said...

I hope you find your way back here; there's plenty to catch up on, though, and I plan to do that.

I know you started a followup on the piece we talked about the other day, and that the Blog Gods went and ate it, but here's what the inspiration did for me, for whatever it's worth:

http://captainsblog.livejournal.com/477982.html

A Who said...

You'll be back. One way or the other, you'll continue to write because you are too good not to.

I enjoy your posts very much, but taking a break from it -- I completely understand!!

Love,
Patti

LZ Blogger said...

Well... no wonder I haven't heard for you lately! BUMMER! ~ jb///

Summer said...

Lisa, thanks for your latest visit to my blog...i hope you are doing well! take care and see you around!

Loving Annie said...

You are doing what is right. Proud of you for following your talent/'the plan', and happy for you :)
A blog has its own time and place and usefulness, and we will be here when/if it is right for you again, not to worry !
Will e-mail and check in !

Young Werther said...

All the best for the future.

xoxo

Grof said...

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A Who said...

Hi Lisa,

Wondering when you will start blogging again. I just re-opened http://a-persons-a-person.blogspot.com/

Not sure what I am going to do with it now.

How's things?

P

Down Comforter said...

Best of luck to you.

Chicago Carpet Cleaning said...

miss you.
miss you.
miss you.

Evisu Jeans said...

Very cute
Your blog is full of life and activites

Evisu Jeans said...

Very cute
Your blog is full of life and activites

mineralissima said...

Seems eager to improve

Free Cycling Website said...

Keep it up...
Keep on doing good things.

watch.city said...

totally understand.....that IS a difficult