Wednesday, November 21, 2007

Blessings

I have to be honest. I try very hard to present a positive image when I post on this blog. However, what started as a blank canvas for my dreams started to become nothing more than the whipping boy for my gripes.

As I sit here at my computer, this night before Thanksgiving, I think of how I should be reflecting on why my life is blessed in so many ways, but all I can think about are family situations gone awry that the holidays only tend to magnify.

I find that sometimes, I just can't let things go. No, make that a lot of times. I tend to have a "victim" mentality, and I allow myself to feel persecuted, most of the time by the same people, over and over. This way of thinking is so unproductive as far as turning out positive outcomes...but it certainly produces a whole bunch of negative ones. I often wonder why I care so much, but I'm starting to really understand that how I feel doesn't make one bit of a difference to the people I allow to upset me. I only end up chasing my own tail.

My purpose in writing tonight is not to convince you, my blogging buddies, how blessed I am. It's for me to remind myself why I need to smooth the hairs down on my back, release my tense, arched body, take a deep breath, then expel the pent-up frustration into the dark, foggy void of this night.

...So here's my "thankful" list for this year:

I am thankful for my health, for without it I wouldn't be able to enjoy the other things in my life that I'm thankful for.

I'm thankful for my husband, who is not only kind and understanding, but he's pretty darn cute, too.

I'm thankful that my daughter got on the honor roll for the very first time in her life. Even though she's a senior in high school, we couldn't be more proud.

I'm thankful that my son still tells me he loves me in front of his friends.

I'm thankful that my stepdaughter started telling me she loved me first upon closing a phone conversation.

I'm thankful that my stepson has a wonderful job that will take him in a positive direction.

I'm thankful that I got to see my dog sleeping with a huge smile on his face. Yes, it was a smile.

...No, it was 2:30 in the morning and I didn't get a picture.

I'm thankful that my other dog, despite his 427 lumps, is happy and pain-free.

I'm thankful that I woke to three beautiful blue jays outside my kitchen window this morning.

I'm thankful that no matter how stressful my day is at work, one of my "guys" will inevitably make me crack up--deliberately or not. They are treasures, just the epitome of purity, innocence, and honesty. And gas.

I'm thankful that my house is clean and all I have to do is bake two apple pies tomorrow morning...all while the Macy's parade is on (it's not Thanksgiving until I see Santa Claus...which doesn't really make sense...).

I'm thankful that my cousin is going to cook tomorrow. She's the best chef in the family, and her home is always welcoming and comforting.

I'm thankful for Merlot. Cabernet, too.

And I'm thankful for all of you, dear bloggers. There is not one of you who hasn't made me think, care, and most of all, smile.

Most of all, I'm thankful for God. I rest in the knowledge that even though I tend to try to "fight my own battles" and save up my prayers for a rainy day, He's with me, always....just waiting in the wings for me to ask for His help.

If you'll excuse me, I really think I have to have a chat with Him right about now.

In the meantime, I wish all of you a wonderful, blessed, joyous Thanksgiving. May your plates be full and your hearts be fuller.

32 comments:

Guilty Secret said...

Well done. That was a great list. I loved the bit about Merlot and Cabernet!

Happy Thanksgiving!

Kacey said...

Dear Lisa Bunny, I haven't stopped to make a separate list of all the things I am thankful about, but I have stopped my hubby from grouching about some little thing now and then. We are very near the end of the perfect lives --- we started out in a time of few possessions, but with enough to make life comfortable during a rough time in this country. Each decade and stage of our lives have brought so many blessings that I am amazed that God should care so much for one such as I. Our parents and grandparents would never have believed that life could just keep on getting better and better --- but, it has. We are so blessed, that I could die tomorrow and "It Is Well With My Soul".

Big Dave T said...

Very nice. It reminds me that I have to compile a thanks list of my own.

My sitemeter will give me a few individual statistics, such as where a visitor was from, and how they stumbled upon my blog. If they found it through a search engine, then it says what search engine they used and what words or phrase they typed in to find me.

For my blog, they're usually looking for swingertales, Polish tattoos, creme de Grand Marnier, or eggs over easy, hash browns and toast. Seriously. I must start writing about more important or uplifting subjects, like you did here.

Paul said...

I know what you mean about the sense of gratitude, especially for simple things, which really are the best - you really learn that with the onset of severe disability in the prime of life.

The idea of "blessings" I always have more trouble with, because so many people around the world, including children, are literally starving to death and dying of preventable diseases. So if those who are comfortable really are that way because God has taken a special interest in them and blessed them, it makes you wonder about all those perfectly good people whose lives are in ruins and being brought to a premature end.

I feel grateful to God for life itself, for the air, the stars, the earth. But I feel that the fact that some of us are so much better off than others says less about the will of God than our own lack of will, as a species, to treat other people on this planet as full fledged human beings.

Everybody uses that word "blessings" that way - didn't mean to single you out! And Happy Thanksgiving -

Paul

Carine said...

Lisa,
I too am thrilled that my hubby is wonderful, my health is back to so-so, our daughter and her pregnancy are holding their own, our grandson is doing well and our son is happy. I'm also thankful for parents who are still with me, a wonderful sister and A COMPUTER THAT FINALLY WORKS AFTER ALMOST A WEEK!!!

gilda said...

i started writing my own list to give thanks for and it made me cry. i'm thankful for your list, because it also reminded me a lot about what 'm thankful for in my life. so thank you.

Summer said...

What a wonderful post Lisa!
you inspired me to write a list of things i am thankful for...i was too busy cooking yesterday to post anything, maybe today by the end of it i will have my list!
Happy Holiday!

Dust-bunny said...

Dear Guilty,

Thank you! I did get to enjoy some nice Merlot yesterday! I hope things are going well by you.

Take good care,
Lisa

Dust-bunny said...

Dear Kacey,

My goodness, your comment made me cry. I think my new goal in life is to have the amazing attitude that you have someday. You are a very wise, appreciative, and blessed woman. You must be a pleasure to be around, unlike some who get more miserable with every passing day. God bless you.

Take good care,
Lisa

Dust-bunny said...

Dear Big Dave,

Okay, I give...what the heck is a "swingertale"?!? Or do I even want to know?

I would love to know how you find this information out...is it a setting on your blog?

Hope you had a wonderful Thanksgiving!

Take good care,
Lisa

Dust-bunny said...

Dear Paul,

I do get what you're saying. I have my own opinions on this subject, and my response to you turned out to be so long, I had to turn it into a post! So I'm very "thankful" to you for that, because I've had a little writer's block as of late!

Take good care,
Lisa

Dust-bunny said...

Dear Carine,

I'm glad your computer is up and running; I certainly know how frustrating that can be!

Thanks for the "thankful" list of your own...it's so wonderful to see how many people truly appreciate what's important in life!

Take good care,
Lisa

Dust-bunny said...

Dear Gilda,

Thank YOU for stopping by and making me smile! I imagine your list was very special...sometimes we forget to appreciate what's right in front of us all along.

Take good care,
Lisa

Dust-bunny said...

Dear Summer,

I know how much you appreciate the blessings in your life, and I can't wait to read your list! Hope your "turkey day" was great!

Take good care,
Lisa

Loving Annie said...

Dear Lisa,
How are the apple pies coming along ? Your kitchen probably smells WONDERFUL !

That was such an honest post. As always, you discuss what is true, and real. Learning how to let go is incredibly hard - (i do better than I used to, but, I still have a very hard time with some of it too).

You were right though - it hurts you more than it hurts the people who have caused you distress.

It is all about learning boundaries, and really knowing deep inside how you are willing to be treated - and what you won't put up with - and that so very much about someone else's comments is about them and their unhappiness or anger - and really not about you.

When you KNOW that, there is less sting to it, and it is easier to be at peace with who you know you are.

You have much to be thankful for, and and I am happy for you for ALL of those things.

One day, you will also be thankful for not letting whoever rattle your cage :)

Loving Annie

simply me said...

That was lovely...oh and great for Kayla. You know I just adore her. Life can get a bit rough for all of us at some time, at least you know when to step back from it and embrace it, in spite of all. Good for you.

We are so similar, last night after dinner I did the same thing - compile my gratitude list. LOL

love you.

Dust-bunny said...

Dear Annie,

My apple pies came out just delicious, thank you! I wish there were some leftovers. ;)

I received a phone call from someone who I'm not close to anymore yesterday, wishing me a Happy Thanksgiving. I know it was not easy for this person to make the phone call, and I also know that they had to do it on the sly while their spouse was out. In all honesty, I do know that I am not the only one affected by our family situation. My husband is, our kids are...and I'm now realizing that there is one very, very confused, sad person out there who is most likely hurting, too. I guess we all handle the hurt differently. But I really do think everyone wishes that things were the way they used to be before.

Well, almost everyone. You know there's always one buffoon in the family who's happy that everyone's not speaking.

Anyway, hope your Thanksgiving was happy!

Take good care,
Lisa

Dust-bunny said...

Dear Simply Me,

Yes, I was able to take that step back the other night, and it felt good.

...Unlike this morning, when I was awakened by Chase asking for payment on my 11-day late car loan. The day started off bad, and by 11am I almost took myself to the hospital, I was so stressed! I really need to win Lotto. But then again, don't we all?

xoxo
Lisa

Matty said...

Lisa,
We should be thankful more often and not only on Thanksgiving when we really have so much to be thankful for compared to so many others who's life is not a bowl of cherries.
You have to 'volunteer' to be a victim...I no longer volunteer.
I think you're a very sensitive person and take everything to heart.
You're a beautiful soul...keep doing what you're doing and ignore the one's who find fault.

Carine said...

Lisa,
How did you get the Neocounter? pretty neat.

Dust-bunny said...

Dear Matty,

Thank you for the complement. Coming from such a wonderful soul as yourself, it means a lot.

I had a meltdown today because of family stress, finances, and all the other good stuff in between. Right now, I feel as if a truck hit me. I'm trying very, very hard to find a way out of this pit, but I'm really not having much success for some reason.

Somehow, though, I keep thinking that "it's always darkest before dawn." I'm hoping there is an amazing day that unfolds after that dawn.

Take good care,
Lisa

Dust-bunny said...

Dear Carine,

I think all you have to do is click on the bottom of mine, where it says "Neocounter"...I'm pretty sure that's what I did on someone else's blog! Then just follow the instructions.

Take good care,
Lisa

annie said...

I'm thankful that I've met you!
blessings to you and your loved ones.

annie

Dust-bunny said...

Dear Annie,

You are just the sweetest, and I feel the same way!

I hope your holiday was wonderful!

Take good care,
Lisa

Lucy Stern said...

Lisa, it sounds like you have much to be Thankful for....

Always remember the phrase: "Poison corrodes the vessel that it resides in." Don't let your troubles poison your body and mind, you have many things to be thankful for, consentrate on that. I love watching the Macy's parade too....Hope you had a happy Thanksgiving.

Shimmerrings said...

Hi, Lisa... thanks for the wonderful thanksgiving blessings you left on my blog, just got back into town a bit ago. I want to say, miss lady, you need to 'let go' what it is you intended your blog to be... and just let it be what it is. The same thing happened to me. We try to be positive, but all of life is not positive for all of us... and sometimes writing helps us to relieve our stresses and discover, inside of us, the things that we need to discover, in order to make things better in our lives. For some, this is the only place we get to vent, where we are... and be, not only understood... but loved, no matter where we are or what we express. The beauty of reality is to be able to be real... and to do so, with love remaining in our hearts, no matter how dismal our days... nothing more beautiful than real love... imperfect and all... in real human beings... those whose blogs reflect nothing but positive stuff... well, I don't buy it for one minute... it's their choice to express... or not express... for myself, I prefer to visit blogs where the human being is plain to see... imperfect and all... dark and light, good and bad, evil and angelic... for we are duality, given to us by the Creator... blog on, miss lady, blog on.

Shimmerrings said...

Hi, Lisa... thanks for the wonderful thanksgiving blessings you left on my blog, just got back into town a bit ago. I want to say, miss lady, you need to 'let go' what it is you intended your blog to be... and just let it be what it is. The same thing happened to me. We try to be positive, but all of life is not positive for all of us... and sometimes writing helps us to relieve our stresses and discover, inside of us, the things that we need to discover, in order to make things better in our lives. For some, this is the only place we get to vent, where we are... and be, not only understood... but loved, no matter where we are or what we express. The beauty of reality is to be able to be real... and to do so, with love remaining in our hearts, no matter how dismal our days... nothing more beautiful than real love... imperfect and all... in real human beings... those whose blogs reflect nothing but positive stuff... well, I don't buy it for one minute... it's their choice to express... or not express... for myself, I prefer to visit blogs where the human being is plain to see... imperfect and all... dark and light, good and bad, evil and angelic... for we are duality, given to us by the Creator... blog on, miss lady, blog on.

Betty said...

Dear Dust-bunny,

You mean you didn't show up in person for the Macy's parade!? Well, I don't blame you- it's a lot easier to watch it on TV- a perfect accompaniment to pie baking.

I have the impression, just for the record, that you're grateful all of the time, not just this week. Most of your writing about your family has blown me away because you make it sound so very appealing.

Of course you encounter problems within that family- who doesn't??!! It's perfectly OK if you write out your frustration now and then. It's much better to get it out, to face it, than to poison yourself by keeping it in. I think that blogging can be healing, even though I myself have not been using it that way lately.

I hope you and your family enjoyed a fantastic Thanksgiving this year.

Hugs,
Betty

Mark said...

Expressing gratitude is very powerful! Letting go can be the hardest thing we do and the most rewarding.
You are right, the only one who suffers is you, the others go about there merry way.

Paul said...

Look forward to your post. People certainly don't talk about their blessings with the idea of suggesting that people in bad situations are - well, the opposite of blessed, even though logically that would be implied.

So it IS complicated! It took me part of a book chapter.

Dust-bunny said...

Dear Lucy Stern,

Thank you for stopping by!

I do have many things to be thankful for, it is true. And I wholeheartedly agree with you about "poison": bad thoughts can poison our minds, and sometimes I guess we all have days where we could really use to clear our heads of useless nonsense.

I want to concentrate on the season, as it's one of my favorites...and I want to let things go that I have no control over. That's my goal for this month.

Oh, and I enjoyed watching you last night on TV... ;) "A Charlie Brown Christmas" is probably one of my all-time favorites!!

Take good care,
Lisa

Dust-bunny said...

I'm having LOADS of trouble with my internet tonight, so please excuse the short group replies:

Shimmerings...you are always a vessel of support and encouragement. Thank you always for your kind and intelligent words.

Betty...I always think I would like to go to the parade, but it's such a madhouse there...I like my cozy kitchen better! And yes, you're right...I am grateful every day, but things aren't always "peachy"...but then again, the bad times help us to appreciate the good, no?

Mark...I still have great trouble letting go, and it's something I work on every day...obviously not hard enough. But I do want to try, and sometimes I hold back from saying or doing something that might not have the intended result...but boy, it sure is hard.

Paul...I am putting up my post while my computer is working...thank you for giving me an idea to write about! I have my own thoughts about "blessings", and I hope you find them interesting (although I'm certainly not as well-versed as you are!! My "parlance" leaves something to be desired. I still love that word)!

Take good care,
Lisa