Wednesday, February 28, 2007
A Typical Conversation
Lisa: "You know, what the heck. I'm having a glass of wine." (pause while uncorking and pouring) "S.E!"
Maria: "OH...you know what? 'S.E'. right back. I've been 'S.E-ing' for a while now!"
Lisa: "'S.E'. Mmm, that's good."
Maria: "SOPHIA!! I know you can come up with a sentence for 'single'! This kid, I swear...she can write poetry and you should hear the songs she writes! But she can't come up with a sentence for 'single'! You know what, Sophia? I know you can come up with a sentence for single!!" (distant whining in background: "But I need help!! You have to help me!")
"SOPHIA!! That's it! You're going in your room to do your homework. Let's go."
Lisa: "I used to go through that with Dylan all the time. Drives you crazy."
Maria: "You have 31 minutes from right now to get this done!! You stay up here in your beautiful room at your beautiful desk, and you get this done. And for every minute over 31 that you don't get your homework done, you lose that much time watching TV. And I'm not kidding!!" (more whining in the background)
Lisa: "...So, what's going on with that house you were thinking of buying?"
Maria: "Oh, that's funny that you asked that! We had a long discussion about that one and the other one today." (An hour-long conversation ensues talking about the pros and cons of both houses in consideration, plus a trip to the internet to view said houses online by Lisa. Maria's son is on her computer, so she attempts to view said houses on her television, which produces a stream of semi-obscenities from her mouth) "What the hell!! What the hell is wrong with this damn thing!! OH!! THERE IT IS!! REMAX!! Wait a minute. WAIT!! Oh, for crying out loud! I just missed Remax!!"
Lisa: "You can't just go back and get it?"
Maria: "No, I can't explain it. Stupid thing. This thing is so stupid. And I can't even find the damn house. OH MY GOD, I'M FREEZING!! What is up with this thermostat? I gotta raise the heat. And my kids are walking around barefoot. Sigh."
(Dylan now bellows, "MOM!! I'm hungry!! What're we eating?" from upstairs)
Lisa: "Dyl, one minute, I'm coming. (stands up) "WOO!! HAHAHAH!! Wow, that was some glass of wine!! Oh my gosh, I'm so woozy...how am I gonna go to work in an hour?"
Maria: "Work?? Why do you have to go to work tonight?"
Lisa: "Monthlies are due. That's part of the promotion, I have to do a bunch of paperwork. But I can't go there until 8:00 because they have two yoga classes there tonight."
Lisa: "Yeah, for the guys. Dylan, one second. Hold the plate steady, because when I drop the cranberry sauce into it, it's gonna fall. You got it? Okay, hold on." (an attempt to loosen cranberry sauce from the can ensues) "DYL!! I told you to hold the plate!!"
Dylan: "HAHA....Mom, I got it!! Hurry up. I'll take that peice. Just give me that one."
Maria: "SOPHIA!! I'm not helping you!! You can write a sentence for 'single', this is ridiculous!! This kid is driving me crazy. Did you see the kitchen on the house in Pheasant Run? We really wanted a center island. I can't explain it, it looks smaller in person."
Lisa: "Well, the house is beautiful, and it has everything you want except a center island. I think it's a no-brainer."
Maria: "I know, but I can't explain it...SOPHIA!! You do NOT need my help!! You've been working on your homework for three hours!!"
Lisa: "Maybe you should tell the teacher that she takes three hours to do her homework. They might be giving her too much."
Maria: "OH, she just doesn't want to do it. She wants me to give her all the answers, and she just putts around and plays with the dog while she should be doing her homework. It's so frustrating!! Oh, my God, I'm freezing. I can't take this."
Lisa: "I'm cold now, too."
Maria: "Me too. Sigh. So what else?"
Lisa: "Nothing much. I'm just on EBay looking for rooster clocks."
Maria: "...Rooster clo....AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAAAAAA!!!!! OH my God. You're looking for Rooster clocks?!? HAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAA!!!!!! Oh, I can't help it. That sounds funnier every time I say it!!!!!!!! HAHAHAHAHAAAAAAA!!!!"
Lisa: "HAAAHAAAHAAAHAAAA!!! I know...HAAHHAHAHHAAAA!!! Rooster clocks!!!! "
Maria: "Sigh....that was so funny..."
Lisa: "Hehehe...rooster clocks...ha!"
Maria: "Oh, here's the other peice of pajama...I was looking for this..."
Lisa: "HAHAHAHAHA!!!! 'piece of pajama'??? Chuckle.
Maria: "SOPHIA!! YOU ABSOLUTELY CAN FIND A SENTENCE USING THE WORD 'SINGLE'!!!! HOW ABOUT, 'MY MOTHER LOSES HER MIND EVERY SINGLE TIME HER DAUGHTER DOES HER HOMEWORK!!!!"
Lisa: "HHAAAAHAAAAHAAAHAAHAHAHAAAAA!!!!!!! I CAN'T TAKE IT!!!!!"
Heh heh...that was some gooood wine. ;0
...and that definitely wasn't the rooster clock I ended up with!