tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33624309.post2221127448695902867..comments2023-10-17T12:12:52.829-04:00Comments on A Comforter is Not a Bedspread...And Other Observations: Ringing Out the OldDust-bunnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11610355970669069345noreply@blogger.comBlogger31125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33624309.post-25561690972773435122009-05-01T00:56:00.000-04:002009-05-01T00:56:00.000-04:00Excessive tardiness A conference is requestedExcessive tardiness A conference is requestedwatch.cityhttp://www.watch-city.netnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33624309.post-64879909801637211512009-04-14T08:03:00.000-04:002009-04-14T08:03:00.000-04:00Let me add if I'm not late, you every thing is so ...Let me add if I'm not late, you every thing is so fabulous. I am amazed how you gethered too much color and quality...Free Cycling Websitehttp://www.freecyclingwebsite.com/noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33624309.post-24899204092947423642009-03-10T08:20:00.000-04:002009-03-10T08:20:00.000-04:00I am hoping this recent interest and improvement w...I am hoping this recent interest and improvement will continueAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33624309.post-26876637353026830182009-02-12T08:40:00.000-05:002009-02-12T08:40:00.000-05:00I have no other choice other than to say that I li...I have no other choice other than to say that I like it...Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33624309.post-23054546020963162432008-11-24T20:58:00.000-05:002008-11-24T20:58:00.000-05:00seems like its a close threadseems like its a close threadAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33624309.post-56986708975945586982008-10-07T02:39:00.000-04:002008-10-07T02:39:00.000-04:00Good luckGood luckAnonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33624309.post-12429710464061428302008-01-08T08:12:00.000-05:002008-01-08T08:12:00.000-05:00Happy New Year!Happy New Year!Shimmerringshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11889345175260200888noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33624309.post-20305363406045551792008-01-07T22:48:00.000-05:002008-01-07T22:48:00.000-05:00Dear Shimmerings,The funny thing about your last c...Dear Shimmerings,<BR/><BR/>The funny thing about your last comment was that I, too, had trouble remembering certain things after a few months went by, and was later called a liar. I think it's human nature to sort of "block out" any "un-pleasantries", especially after so many years! Why WOULD you want to recall that situation...it sounds like it was very painful. <BR/><BR/>And I'm certainly not glad that you had to go through a hurtful experience like that, but because you were kind enough to share it with me, it made me feel better to know I'm not the only one who has had this happen to them.<BR/><BR/>I think when people are insecure with themselves, they tend to be very proud, even if that doesn't make sense. She spends a lot of time in front of the mirror, and tries very hard to be "perfect" in every sense of the word. The sad thing is that because she's so beautiful, she got by on her looks all these years, and it's how she identifies herself. For her to admit that her husband came on to someone not as stellar as herself would be very humiliating to her, because she measures everything by what's on the outside most of the time. I know she has the ability to appreciate what's on someone's "inside"...but again, she hasn't shown much of that side of her for awhile.<BR/><BR/>Oh, I could go on and on...but I really need to just let this relationship lie for now. Funny, but once I made this decision and wrote my post, all of a sudden, she was brought up every day, whether she called here to thank my husband for painting her office (she has only called the house phone once before in the last two years, and that was right before Christmas), or receiving a photo card wishing everyone "Happy New Year" with a picture of her, him and their two boys (she only sends pictures of the boys every year, so this was a first). I think God tests me sometimes, I really do! <BR/><BR/>But now that I've vented, I really do hope it's going to be buried in the back of my mind somewhere for a nice, long time (I'm not naive enough to think it will go away completely)!<BR/><BR/>So thanks again for your support and "cyber-friendship"! You are a beautiful soul, and I appreciate all that you so generously shared with me.<BR/><BR/>Take good care,<BR/>LisaDust-bunnyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11610355970669069345noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33624309.post-90272978797087970382008-01-07T11:54:00.000-05:002008-01-07T11:54:00.000-05:00P.S. I know this isn't even important, but I hate ...P.S. I know this isn't even important, but I hate to present the facts wrong. As I was writing my last response, I was having a hard time remembering, because it was probably 15 or 20 years ago, maybe more. But, the way it happened was that he found me on my mail route, and wanted to have lunch with me. This would not have been any biggy, mind you. We had all been great friends and had met him for lunch on more than one occassion. He acted as if he just accidentally saw me and thought, "Hey, may has well have lunch together." As I continued to recall, I remembered that they were already separated, but I still could not believe that he would try to ask me out, expecting that I might actually go out with him, even though his soon to be ex was one of my best friends. I do remember that he had also like tried to play footsie with me, under the table, once. Bottom line is, she knew he had played around, in the past, during the length of their marriage. And she had found out that he had played around with one of her closest friends, before they were separated. Someone she had trusted (the way she earned trust was to make everyone her best friend). I had told the girl, who had messed around with him (we knew that she had, but she was not admitting it) that he had tried to get me to go out with him (which was the truth) trying to get her to admit something. I felt as if I had betrayed my friend, just by telling the girl that, even though it was true, and even though they were separated, at the time, and even though I had not taken him up on it. Which is what led me to finally tell my friend about it, because I had wondered if the girl had told her, and I wasn't so sure what she might have fabricated and conjured up, if she had, indeed, told her. Anyways, to end this long tale, my friend didn't appreciate hearing it from me, and went to the lengths to brush it off, as if I had gone way overboard, about it all, by imagining that he was interested in me, and so she set about trying to make me look and feel like a fool, and being very patronizing about it, as well. So, I know the feeling you have gone through. The lesson is not for you, as much as it is for her, Dust Bunny. And I knew that my friend knew, very well, that what I had said was the truth... just as I am sure the person that you speak of does, too.Shimmerringshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11889345175260200888noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33624309.post-79943255720354118012008-01-07T09:47:00.000-05:002008-01-07T09:47:00.000-05:00I once had a friend who had a husband who came ont...I once had a friend who had a husband who came onto me, once. Eventually, they divorced, and it was more her fault, because she had been having an affair (though he had done plenty wrong, in the past, himself). Once things were over with them, I admitted to her what he had done (I think the reason I did this was because she believed that he had messed around with another of her friends). Well, as it turned out, she had too much pride to hear it. She did not want to hear it, in fact, She later told me that she had confronted him about it, and he said that I reminded him of her, but that he would never have blah, blah, blah. So be it. She was the sort that always had to be right, and had to prove it, even if she was wrong. She liked to be top dog, in everything, and was very revengeful. For her to accept that her husband came onto me would have been humiliating for her. On the inside, I knew that she knew that he really had. Some people just cannot deal with truth, when it means their own structure comes tumbling down.Shimmerringshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11889345175260200888noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33624309.post-35743659938620046362008-01-07T08:18:00.000-05:002008-01-07T08:18:00.000-05:00Dear Shimmerings,PS...and I must mention that we d...Dear Shimmerings,<BR/><BR/>PS...and I must mention that we did in fact send a letter to him while he was away asking him to work with us in letting this go and everyone forgiving and forgetting. We told him it doesn't matter any more who did what, the fact remains that we are all part of the same family and we should put our faith in God and make amends with each other.<BR/><BR/>He ripped the letter up and threw it away.Dust-bunnyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11610355970669069345noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33624309.post-5819803243422024262008-01-07T08:14:00.000-05:002008-01-07T08:14:00.000-05:00Dear Shimmerings,Thank you for such an insightful ...Dear Shimmerings,<BR/><BR/>Thank you for such an insightful message. You are spot on with so many things.<BR/><BR/>I guess one of the reasons I had such a hard time letting go of my relationship with her was because she's not this "evil" person who concocts ways to hurt people (although the same can't be said about her husband)...she's actually fun and very nice when she wants to be...it's just that, unfortunately, glitz and glamour became how she defined herself, and from what I can see at the supermarket checkout line, that's not really such a great thing. <BR/><BR/>Instead of him taking on her good traits, she took on his bad ones. The whole family sees this; it's not just me. However, in her quest to hang on to her lifestyle (which she admitted she "loves"), she had to defend him, because to go against him and leave him would leave her in a financial position that she could no longer relate to. She would have to leave her beautiful house and wealthy neighborhood, and that would be a lot for many people (I know; I lived through it myself). Don't get me wrong; I certainly don't think it's a bad thing to love one's lifestyle. But once your lifestyle starts to hurt other people--or you use it to hurt other people--then something's not right there.<BR/><BR/>So her only choice was to accuse me of "provoking" him to do the nasty thing he did, and promote that lie to the rest of the family, along with her husband's nonsense (he lied about me being a drug abuser...I can't even handle drinking wine every day, and have never used drugs in my life...thankfully the family saw through that lie). <BR/><BR/>Funny thing, though...if she really believed that I "provoked" him, or that he never did what he did, why would she ever agree to see me again? Why would she ever step foot anywhere that I was, or even invite me to her house for her kids' birthdays (while he was away, of course)? The reason this has gone on so long is that my husband and I know that she knows the truth, and that I did nothing...she knows this...but I guess we were hoping that since she had that knowledge, she would "see the light" and take a chance on leaving this man who has abused her mentally, emotionally, and yes, even sometimes physically throughout the years. <BR/><BR/>But alas...the money means more. How she looks to the rest of the world means more. It's all about the vanity.<BR/>I realized that this is a very big part of her life, and she's not about to achieve any level of humility any time soon. So I had to let go of any hope of us rectifying this situation for good. My husband hasn't; that's okay. As long as he keeps it to himself, it's fine...I understand it's his sister...but as for me, it's just over. Really over.<BR/><BR/>Take good care,<BR/>LisaDust-bunnyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11610355970669069345noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33624309.post-80660252314499438792008-01-06T22:22:00.000-05:002008-01-06T22:22:00.000-05:00Dust Bunny, I'm glad you finally are coming to ter...Dust Bunny, I'm glad you finally are coming to terms with the reality of the situation, and letting go of any illusion related to the loving reality of your own world, that is not present in their world. It's hard to let go of things when we cannot understand how others can be the way that they are. It was one of the hardest things, in my own coming to terms with my adult world... things are not always the way they seem... then again, sometimes they just are, which is sometimes far worse. We can't always make things be the way that we want them, in fact, have to accept that we often won't have it our way. Someone close to me once said, "You just have to accept that everyone is not going to like you, Sarah, even if you like them. You can't make people like you" What a reality check! More importantly, our safe and perfect world comes crashing down, when we discover that things are not always pretty on the outside of our protective glass bubble. Try seeing it this way: He's not the man behind the curtain... that gives him far too much power... God is the man behind the curtain... and His pupose, in all things, is far greater than the very small petty world that some choose to operate out of. Leave them behind in the dust... in fact, Dust Bunny, you are already miles ahead... keep makin' them tracks! And don't be bitter, because it gives them undue power. Just accept what is and let go. What will be will be... don't expect anything from them, only Peace from within your ownself, and you won't be disappointed.Shimmerringshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11889345175260200888noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33624309.post-60457688933211196062008-01-06T14:31:00.000-05:002008-01-06T14:31:00.000-05:00Dear Paul,I can't explain it, but what I feel is m...Dear Paul,<BR/><BR/>I can't explain it, but what I feel is major. I feel like Tommy, and I finally crashed through the mirror!! "I'm free!" And I can't allow myself to go back to that dark place of lost control. I can't control them or how they think or feel, but I can control my thoughts and feelings toward them. I've always known this, but practicing it is HUGE to me...it feels really, really good.<BR/><BR/>Take good care,<BR/>LisaDust-bunnyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11610355970669069345noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33624309.post-33899725049470939462008-01-06T14:28:00.000-05:002008-01-06T14:28:00.000-05:00Dear Carine,The funny thing is, I thought I was mi...Dear Carine,<BR/><BR/>The funny thing is, I thought I was missing so much but I actually don't miss it at all. This person has changed so drastically that I don't even recognize her anymore.<BR/><BR/>God bless her, I hope she finds whatever it is that she's looking for. I really do.<BR/><BR/>Take good care,<BR/>LisaDust-bunnyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11610355970669069345noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33624309.post-44344485927492217092008-01-06T14:23:00.000-05:002008-01-06T14:23:00.000-05:00Dear Loving Annie,I, too, feel that the healing wi...Dear Loving Annie,<BR/><BR/>I, too, feel that the healing will be huge as I give up the control I so desperately wanted, but honestly never had. The time has come to move on to bigger and better things...this has consumed such a large portion of my life, I decided that my life would never get better or go in a more positive direction if I held onto the anger and the frustration any longer.<BR/><BR/>Here's to a New Year filled with hope and promise for all of us!<BR/><BR/>Take good care,<BR/>LisaDust-bunnyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11610355970669069345noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33624309.post-58357088310780092562008-01-06T10:40:00.000-05:002008-01-06T10:40:00.000-05:00Dear Kacey,Unfortunately, these people will always...Dear Kacey,<BR/><BR/>Unfortunately, these people will always be a part of my life as long as I'm married to my husband (which will be forever)...but I have come to realize that I can't plan on them "seeing the light" or acknowledging the "err of their ways." To them, they are right for measuring people according to their pocketbooks because somewhere along the way, that is what became an acceptable standard to them. <BR/><BR/>I've accepted that we are all very different people with very different values. I will let it go; my husband can not, and that's okay. I understand he sees someone different, the unaffected person he grew up with. But my health--my MENTAL health, especially--was in jeopardy, and something had to give. And that was me.<BR/><BR/>...I know that you know pretty much firsthand how I feel. ;)<BR/><BR/>Take good care,<BR/>LisaDust-bunnyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11610355970669069345noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33624309.post-73680662931155415162008-01-06T10:24:00.000-05:002008-01-06T10:24:00.000-05:00Dear Simply Me,From someone like you who knows the...Dear Simply Me,<BR/><BR/>From someone like you who knows the whole situation and everyone involved on a personal level, I know you can understand where I'm coming from.<BR/><BR/>I really have decided to make a lot of changes this year. I have hit rock bottom in this situation as well as several others (bills, anyone?), and I have nowhere to go but "up." I really do feel that God is putting me through all of this for a reason. As you have said, and so many others have said...we can't change other people, but we CAN change our attitudes. I have really decided to heed that advice this year! And I have a feeling this will be a year of great things for my family.<BR/><BR/>xoxo,<BR/>LisaDust-bunnyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11610355970669069345noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33624309.post-41574029800452918012008-01-06T10:04:00.000-05:002008-01-06T10:04:00.000-05:00Dear Big Dave,Thanks for the complement, and I rea...Dear Big Dave,<BR/><BR/>Thanks for the complement, and I really don't mean to toot my own horn, but I have so many dear people in my life and I tend to be a friendly person. However, the same could be said about this other person. The major difference between the two of us is that I worship a God of mercy, compassion and forgiveness, and she worships money. That is the cold, hard truth. <BR/><BR/>For example, on Christmas she pointed out all the jewelry she was wearing and told of where she got her clothing (a very expensive shop I can't afford)...then asked the question, "How much do you think I'm worth right now?"<BR/><BR/>I wanted to say, "Well, you may well be worth $100,000 right now, but I, however, am priceless always." <BR/><BR/>Take good care,<BR/>LisaDust-bunnyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11610355970669069345noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33624309.post-77919548380599977502008-01-05T23:40:00.000-05:002008-01-05T23:40:00.000-05:00That is the hardest - when the paths have to conti...That is the hardest - when the paths have to continue to cross. At least you don't have to live with the person or see them daily - I've seen situations like that. <BR/><BR/>Sounds like you've seen what is and isn't under your control, and that's major.Paulhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14770384445526387065noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33624309.post-26806954088397164542008-01-05T19:21:00.000-05:002008-01-05T19:21:00.000-05:00Lisa, hopefully time will help and if it can't hel...Lisa, hopefully time will help and if it can't help, it will cause you much less pain.<BR/>Remember, what you are missing now will be filled with another type of hopeful joy in the future.Carine-what's cooking?https://www.blogger.com/profile/04372404882108752324noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33624309.post-1523070395278847192008-01-05T18:53:00.000-05:002008-01-05T18:53:00.000-05:00You are absolutely doing the wise and right thing ...You are absolutely doing the wise and right thing for you. This has caused you so much heartache and stress. Letting go of the chains that tormented you will let you be YOU again in the best of ways. <BR/><BR/>Don't ever let someone's eles's lies define you. It's hard not to try to fight that. <BR/><BR/>But they will be who they are - and goodness is NOT in everyone. It's best to move away from people like that, no matter who they were to you once.<BR/><BR/>This is a wonderful resolution for you to make, and the healing will be huge...<BR/><BR/>((hugs))<BR/><BR/>Loving AnnieConstancehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02702046097986873803noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33624309.post-71185460767198962952008-01-05T16:41:00.000-05:002008-01-05T16:41:00.000-05:00I couldn't resist looking for Auld Lang Syne in Wi...I couldn't resist looking for Auld Lang Syne in Wikipedia. In addition to the translations you gave from the Scots, there was another from a work of Fairytales by Matthew Fitt. He used it as in "Once Upon a Time". Your tormentor does, indeed, tell fairytales and bad things happened "once upon a time" to you. Give up this relationship and stop chewing on yourself. Besides, who will people really believe---our sweet dust bunny or someone who has spent time in the slammer? We do not have to spend our whole lifetime with dysfunctional people in our life!Kaceyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00204053320557518502noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33624309.post-32521702705371708792008-01-05T09:38:00.000-05:002008-01-05T09:38:00.000-05:00Good for you Li. I did it years ago and the result...Good for you Li. I did it years ago and the results have been triumphant. I encourage you to let go and sustain your heart in a healthier place.2bmehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00058872754661017038noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33624309.post-37475981917669413062008-01-05T07:12:00.000-05:002008-01-05T07:12:00.000-05:00You know, that's one thing about getting older tha...You know, that's one thing about getting older that's not so bad--I care less about what people think of me. I've learned to accept myself for who I am. If others can't, that's their problem. We all know you as a very caring person. If others somehow have a problem with you, I've got to feel that the problem rests with them.Big Dave Thttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18363712781308133633noreply@blogger.com