tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33624309.post1201613638480625892..comments2023-10-17T12:12:52.829-04:00Comments on A Comforter is Not a Bedspread...And Other Observations: The Big ChillDust-bunnyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/11610355970669069345noreply@blogger.comBlogger18125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33624309.post-83920062692152197892008-02-26T17:11:00.000-05:002008-02-26T17:11:00.000-05:00This comment may seem as late as it is out of left...This comment may seem as late as it is out of left field. Bear with me for a sec.<BR/><BR/>I found your blog, and ultimately this piece, by googling an odd word: "Heraea." It popped into my head the other night and, while I remembered exactly what it was, I wondered what had become of it in the consciousness of writers, however many years after that sort of Sports Night thing was no longer necessary for women anymore.<BR/><BR/>I'm guessing you're from East Meadow. I was Class of '77 and gone from the Island by the end of that year. I haven't been able to guess your class year yet, other than to think it's not too far off from mine (our daughter is 16, not that we all went forth and multiplied on a set schedule or anything). Still, I've found myself trying to remember if I ever knew a Graceann from the school, or Modell's, or church, or any of the other connections of my life back then.<BR/><BR/>Even if I didn't know her, I've seen more than my share of that kind of despair. My sympathies, however belated, for your loss, and thank you for the expressions of kindness and perspective on her passing.<BR/><BR/>(I only use blogger to reply to people on it; the link on my profile goes to a specialty blog about the Mets, but if you want to say hello to the rest of my odd life, that's <A HREF="http://captainsblog.livejournal.com/" REL="nofollow">here</A>.)<BR/><BR/>Nice to have "met" you, even under these circumstances,<BR/><BR/>RayRayhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07999541621680032978noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33624309.post-31598695166126073522007-09-23T11:49:00.000-04:002007-09-23T11:49:00.000-04:00TO MY FELLOW BLOGGING FRIENDS: I DON'T KNOW IF AN...TO MY FELLOW BLOGGING FRIENDS: I DON'T KNOW IF ANY OF YOU WILL SEE THIS COMMENT, BUT IT'S WORTH A TRY...I'm also not sure about printing an address online, but I figured the people who read my blog are the best of the best, and would never want anything but good wishes for their fellow human beings.<BR/><BR/>THEY ARE TAKING UP A COLLECTION FOR GRACEANN'S TWO TEENAGERS, Robert and Christopher. DONATIONS AND/OR ENCOURAGEMENT CAN BE SENT TO THE FOLLOWING:<BR/><BR/>2847 Riverside Drive<BR/>Wantagh, NY 11793<BR/><BR/><BR/>Thank you for your kindness.<BR/><BR/>Love to you all,<BR/>LisaDust-bunnyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11610355970669069345noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33624309.post-10419056511151764992007-09-23T11:16:00.000-04:002007-09-23T11:16:00.000-04:00Curousc,I am willing to bet that at least 90% of u...Curousc,<BR/><BR/>I am willing to bet that at least 90% of us bloggers have experienced some sort of depression in our lives. I feel that I have to delve deeper into knowing more about depression, because I was very narrow-minded about it. I now see that severe depression knows no boundaries. Graceann was just about the last person I would ever imagine who would do something like this. I still can't get over it, and I'm not sure what to do about it.<BR/><BR/>Take good care,<BR/>LisaDust-bunnyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11610355970669069345noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33624309.post-46799102311742379962007-09-23T11:08:00.000-04:002007-09-23T11:08:00.000-04:00Oh, Annie, I can so imagine where you must've been...Oh, Annie, I can so imagine where you must've been at that point, there can not be anything more horrifying in life than to see your child suffer. It's very generous of you to share these deepest of feelings here. I'm so glad that you found your way out through God.<BR/><BR/>Growing up catholic, I didn't have a kind and loving God to go to, only someone who was going to punish me for every little thing I did. I started falling away from the church after the priest told me in confession that I would go to hell if I ever remarried without an annulment. I didn't feel that I had to pay money for God's forgiveness, especially when I didn't even have any. It was only when something devastating happened to me two years ago that I left the church permanently and started on a new path towards the kind and loving God I know today. So I do understand when you say, "Thank God for God!" Without Him, I would've stayed in that hopeless pit. <BR/><BR/>Graceann was catholic, and her family was very involved with the church. I feel that the problems she was having made her feel very guilty, and the last place to go when you feel guilty is confession. For something that's supposed to make you feel better, somehow you end up coming out feeling worse than you did before you went in. I honestly feel that she was not comfortable enough to go seek God in a different way, and for that I am so very, very sad. I believe with all of my heart that He could've saved her.<BR/><BR/>Take good care,<BR/>LisaDust-bunnyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11610355970669069345noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33624309.post-1763557132474682912007-09-22T21:12:00.000-04:002007-09-22T21:12:00.000-04:00Lisa,I remember being at a point in my life where ...Lisa,<BR/>I remember being at a point in my life where I considered ending my life an option. Right after we got home from over three months in the hospital with Izzy. It was such a hard time, we were given no hope from the medical community, and I felt like she and I should vanish. Thank God for God. If that makes sense. I found new hope and growing faith in His words and came out of that mentality that ending my life was an option. I am so sad for this stranger, so sad that she was so unhappy. I pray for her sons, and for her husband. <BR/>AnnieAnniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16910919508996307906noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33624309.post-22136518246965704392007-09-21T10:07:00.000-04:002007-09-21T10:07:00.000-04:00I have no words to add, yet want to say ... somet...I have no words to add, yet want to say ... something, anything. Depression sucks from every angle and every perspective.CuriousChttps://www.blogger.com/profile/14246874253787195615noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33624309.post-60552156543826610522007-09-20T21:33:00.000-04:002007-09-20T21:33:00.000-04:00Dear Maria,I don't think I ever really took depres...Dear Maria,<BR/><BR/>I don't think I ever really took depression as seriously as I do at this moment, even though I've gone through "dark" moments in my life. I will never look at it the same way again after this. I think I finally learned that it is, indeed, an illness, and not so easily controlled or cured. Lucky are we who can pull ourselves up when we're feeling down; someone like Graceann started to feel down, and just kept spiraling lower and lower.<BR/><BR/>There are all sorts of theories about why she ended up in that horribly dark place, and it's so sad. All I know is that what is presented on the outside is not always what's going on on the inside. It's just heartbreaking that she saw no way out except this.<BR/><BR/>xoxoDust-bunnyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11610355970669069345noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33624309.post-49230898003088034982007-09-20T18:25:00.000-04:002007-09-20T18:25:00.000-04:00Li - I know that you went to the wake today and it...Li - I know that you went to the wake today and it must have been powerfully difficult. <BR/>Depression has no boundaries, it does not care about race, beauty or wealth. It is one of those dark clouds that doesn't go away no matter how well life may be going on the outside. Its manifestation takes hold of everything, it overpowers love. <BR/>Her world must have been a very bleak and dark place where she got no rest.<BR/>May God in all his mercy Bless her now with eternal peace.2bmehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00058872754661017038noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33624309.post-34443083198705465102007-09-20T16:30:00.000-04:002007-09-20T16:30:00.000-04:00Dear Mark, Summer, Dave, and fellow bloggers:I jus...Dear Mark, Summer, Dave, and fellow bloggers:<BR/><BR/>I just got back from the wake, and the sadness was just overwhelming. We found out that about three years ago, she began suffering from depression. Apparently, she was very stubborn and didn't want to get treatment. I also heard that she was taking meds recently, felt better, and decided to go off of them. This is probably what led her to do what she did. She had an imbalance, an illness; left untreated, like most illnesses, it eventually killed her.<BR/><BR/>My best friend and I kneeled to pray by the casket, both of us holding back tears. As we got up, we were each drawn to different things in front of us. I noticed a framed essay written by one of her kids touting her super-human capabilities to work and still come home and cook and clean, and always find time to love them, even when they didn't always respect her. I pretty much lost it with that. But my friend picked up a prayer card and tearfully sighed. She showed it to me and said, "That's exactly what I just prayed for!" On the card was a picture of Jesus embracing what clearly looked like an exhausted, desperate soul. Jesus's face looked as though it felt every ounce of pain that the person he was hugging was in. When we walked outside, she told me her whole prayer: she asked if Jesus would just hold Graceann in his arms and give her the comfort that she couldn't find on this earth. When she found the card right after that, she knew God answered her prayer. She was left with the feeling that our friend was finally at peace.<BR/><BR/>Depression needs to be taken seriously. People can not just "snap out of it". If they could, they would. Although my friend and I both went over the "what ifs" again in the car on the way home, we concluded that if she was too despondent to live for her own kids, then there was probably nothing anyone could have done, aside from physically picking her up and putting her in a mental facility. I guess it's natural for everyone to feel helpless at a time like this. We also have to accept that there may never be a real explanation...that's the hardest thing of all...just trying to understand why this had to happen, and accepting that she took the truth with her.<BR/><BR/>May God bless her soul, and the ones she left behind--especially those dear children.Dust-bunnyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11610355970669069345noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33624309.post-83367352922591518602007-09-19T18:32:00.000-04:002007-09-19T18:32:00.000-04:00I just saw an article in the Sunday paper on how m...I just saw an article in the Sunday paper on how more young women are committing suicide. I never did read it to find out why.<BR/>Now I wish I had. Maybe I could at least try to understand what happened with your friend.<BR/><BR/>Good inspirational video, even if the actor playing God slightly resembled Curly of the Three Stooges.Big Dave Thttps://www.blogger.com/profile/18363712781308133633noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33624309.post-3319352376855825082007-09-19T18:09:00.000-04:002007-09-19T18:09:00.000-04:00This is sad beyond words! I am so sorry for her an...This is sad beyond words! I am so sorry for her and her family. just sad!Mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17554754077324218426noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33624309.post-72708810243170990482007-09-19T16:15:00.000-04:002007-09-19T16:15:00.000-04:00My blessings to you, Grace Ann and all those who w...My blessings to you, Grace Ann and all those who were touched by her.<BR/>The only one who knows why is Grace Ann. We will never truly know why. Let this be a reminder, a wake up call to all of us to be aware of ourselves and those around us. Let us be reminded to not be afraid to reach out or reach out to someone who is having trouble, wrestling with inner demons. May you find peace, for I am certain that Grace Ann has.Markhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08237538988856751173noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33624309.post-2546004607261476572007-09-19T14:54:00.000-04:002007-09-19T14:54:00.000-04:00Dear Kacey,Her obituary finally came out today, an...Dear Kacey,<BR/><BR/>Her obituary finally came out today, and stated that she "lost her battle with depression." Apparently, she had been suffering from it for quite some time.<BR/><BR/>I do know that, from the outside, according to the people who lived around her, her life was perfectly normal. They said that she and her husband were a good-looking couple with a nice house, and they were both "very, very nice." Apparently, the kids were stellar; one person even said that they were two boys that any parent would be proud of. Both parents were involved in the school community and their sons' baseball teams. The person said you would never know there was any dysfunction there at all, and they were totally shocked.<BR/><BR/>I guess it really does go to show that you can look like you have it all on the outside, but on the inside, your life can be totally empty. I still can't believe what happened. And no one will probably ever know the truth. It's so heartbreaking.<BR/><BR/>In the meantime, how are you recuperating? I hope you're feeling better every day!! Congrats on the 9/11 contest...you wrote a very poignant post! It was a winner!<BR/><BR/>Take good care,<BR/>LisaDust-bunnyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11610355970669069345noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33624309.post-84701272998312883262007-09-19T12:32:00.000-04:002007-09-19T12:32:00.000-04:00We really never know about suicides. They could b...We really never know about suicides. They could be depressed, but then again ---her husband could have a pregnant girlfriend and her teenage sons could be runaways, on drugs or in jail. Sometimes, people have such a painful life that they can't bear to go on --- and we on the outside cannot see behind the facade they show to the outer world. Life is very hard for some people --- the rest of us are so fortunate.Kaceyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00204053320557518502noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33624309.post-86775291749659547352007-09-19T10:10:00.000-04:002007-09-19T10:10:00.000-04:00Dear Shimmerings,It's amazing how painful this thi...Dear Shimmerings,<BR/><BR/>It's amazing how painful this thing called "life" can be. I'm so sorry for your loss. <BR/><BR/>I think you are absolutely right as far as death goes. I try to explain to my kids that death is part of life, and it doesn't escape anyone. When my mom died, I knew she was in peace and I knew she was happy; however, we were left to carry on without her, and it hurt the ones who were left behind. I always have faith that I will see her again. That faith has gotten me through so much. <BR/><BR/>I hope that Grace Ann's family will find their way to healing sooner than later. They are going to feel a wide range of emotions, and I'm sure not all of them will be good. They truly need blessings and prayers at this time.<BR/><BR/>Take good care,<BR/>LisaDust-bunnyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11610355970669069345noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33624309.post-71417953151689972302007-09-19T09:57:00.000-04:002007-09-19T09:57:00.000-04:00Dear Loving Annie,I'm glad that you found your way...Dear Loving Annie,<BR/><BR/>I'm glad that you found your way out of your despair. You are a blessing to others, and it's wonderful that you are in a good place now!<BR/><BR/>I think everyone has experienced hopelessness at some point in their life. But to go through a period of weeks or months feeling that desperate must be debilitating. I often wonder why some people seek help and some people don't. Why some people can identify that they have a problem, and others can't seem to do that.<BR/><BR/>I'm still looking for answers regarding this whole incident; the local newspapers haven't mentioned a thing, and we can't even find an obituary. I guess that means the family is still looking for answers as well. It's all so sad.<BR/><BR/>Take good care,<BR/>LisaDust-bunnyhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11610355970669069345noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33624309.post-63268965614402752592007-09-18T22:15:00.000-04:002007-09-18T22:15:00.000-04:00Say hello to my Tim, Grace Ann... may you know the...Say hello to my Tim, Grace Ann... may you know the Peace that I know he now enjoys. I pray strength for your family, for while you are no longer suffering, it is their turn now. There are many lessons they will learn, from this... I pray their strength will be enduring, so that your death was not in vain. <BR/><BR/>Someone once told me that death and dying are for those around them, who remain. It only makes sense, to me, for once the last breath leaves the body, the soul is set free.Shimmerringshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/11889345175260200888noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-33624309.post-80061547730979435582007-09-18T21:09:00.000-04:002007-09-18T21:09:00.000-04:00Many blessings to her and her Soul, Lisa... I have...Many blessings to her and her Soul, Lisa... <BR/><BR/>I have been at a point where I felt like she did, and the depth of heartbroken pain is immense. <BR/><BR/>It is a horribly difficult thing to do, to walk away from all you love, and give up so totally on life. <BR/><BR/>It is usually a series of crushing let-downs, and self-esteem eroding hurts that occur over such an extended period of time that truly all of your hope is just gone...<BR/><BR/>It feels like you are inquicksand, and try though you might, finally the despair simply drags you down, too much, too deep, and you have no energy to fight it.<BR/><BR/>Strong though other people think you may be, in times like that, your strength is non-existent, and your normal ability to bounce back just isn't there.<BR/><BR/>My enormous empathy to her, and to her family and friends, who in their own way will also be grieving her loss deeply.<BR/><BR/>Do not blame her for her pain or her actions. <BR/>Try to understand them. <BR/>Truly see through her eyes. In that place, there is forgiveness and love.<BR/><BR/>Rest in peace, Grace Ann, and may the angels keep you company, and you know no more pain...<BR/><BR/>Loving AnnieConstancehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02702046097986873803noreply@blogger.com